The Idiom Wizard: Chapter 13


Me, James and Hannah forced ourselves to ignore the craziness all around us as we hurried to my house.

We couldn’t help the lady with buttons for lips, or the guy with ants in his pants, or the man on the fence, or even the one balanced on the ball directing all those crazy drivers who were, surprisingly, still swerving around and crashing into things.

Well, maybe we could have, but we just didn’t have enough time to help them all AND get to the book before Mr. Green or the Idiom Wizard. So we kept our heads down and hurried to my house as quick as possible.

“It’ll be okay,” Hannah said. “We’re doing the right thing. The best way to help everyone is to get that book and put an end to all of this.”

She was right of course, but getting the book was going to be a lot harder than it sounded. We realized this just as soon as we got to my house and saw the figure standing on my front lawn staring at my porch.

“Um, is that your dad?” Hannah asked me, pointing to the grey skinned, eight-foot tall man who could have eaten my dad alive.

“Uh, no,” I said. The man had long, tangled orange hair that was caked with mud.

James grabbed us both by the arm and dragged us behind a bush. “Shh! That’s him,” he said. “That’s the Idiom Wizard.” James peeked out. “But why’s he naked?”

Hannah blushed.

“He’s not,” I said. “He, um, has that towel thing around his waist like Tarzan.”

“Wow,” Hannah said. “It can’t get worse than this.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” James added, watching as Donald ran passed with the pack of dogs still chasing him.

But then, somehow, things did get worse.

“Book?” came a shout that we all recognized as Mr. Green’s. He was right down the street passing the school and coming towards us. “Book?!” he called again.

“We have to hurry,” I said.

“Yeah, but how do we get passed that thing?” James asked.

“By being very careful,” I whispered, tiptoeing out from behind the bush. “And very, very quiet.”

I made it halfway across the lawn before the opposite of quiet happened. Bonzi came barking up the sidewalk and jumped into my arms. As he licked my face, I smiled with joy and relief. Then I gulped. So much for being quiet. I turned to face the Idiom Wizard, and sure enough, he glared right back at me. 


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