The Idiom Wizard: Chapter 10

I ran inside my house and slammed the door shut. I can’t remember if I held my breath or if I panted for air. But I do know that I was freaking out!

My parents looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

“What’s wrong, Champ?” Dad finally said.

What’s wrong? I wanted to say. What’s… wrong? Hellooooo. There are hundreds of cats and dogs floating away!

But I didn’t say anything. I just stood there, eyes wide, staring at both of them as I tried to get my mouth working again.

Mom put her hand on my forehead. “He’s a bit clammy,” she told my dad. Then, looking back at me, she said, “You seem a bit under the weather. You sure you’re okay?”

Dad picked some tools up from the counter. “Good thing there’s no school today. Get some rest, kiddo.” He held a hammer up in one hand and some nails up in the other. “And don’t mind the noise. I’ve got some repairs around the house to take care of.”

“Now I’m worried about him, too,” Mom whispered to me. “I love that man, but he’s as clumsy as clumsy can be. All thumbs.”

I ignored them and took a deep breath. “Look outside,” I said.


“Look. Outside.”

Mom turned towards the window. “Yeah, I know,” she said. “All the snow melted overnight.”

I gritted my teeth and tried to compose myself. “No. Bonzi is—”

“Uh-oh,” Dad said, interrupting me. “Is Bonzi out of food? I knew I should have picked some up yesterday. Just didn’t plan on that blizzard.” Him and Mom both chuckled.


Pleeeease, I told myself, wake up. I considered slapping myself. Maybe pulling my hair or pinching my arm. Man, I would have even banged my head against the wall since desperate times called for desperate measures.

Anything to wake myself from this nightmare. They. Weren’t. Listening to me!

Typical parents.

I was just about to scream at the top of my lungs for them to LOOK OUT THE WINDOW! when the television rescued me.

BREAKING NEWS flashed across the screen in red letters. A white van with Hello News painted on the side screeched to a stop. The newswoman, who only moments before was gawking over slimy octopuses, jumped out and hurried straight towards the cameraman with her microphone already held to her mouth

“Yesterday it was a blizzard,” she said. “Today, for the small town of Hello, Michigan, it’s something much, much stranger.”

A live video feed of cats and dogs floating into the sky displayed across the television.

“What in the world…” Dad said.

I looked at him, excited that he’d finally found out what was going on, but he wasn’t even paying attention to the television. I followed his gaze to Mom, who was standing with a small rain cloud floating above her head.

“What is it, Dear?” she asked.

He pointed up. When she looked, the cloud crackled with lightning, then rain poured out, drenching Mom. She screamed and shielded herself with her arms. “My hair!” She tried to run, but the cloud followed in and out of rooms like it was giving her a tour of the house. She swatted at the rain and ran in circles as if she was trying to escape a swarm of bees. She failed miserably at this, but I gave her an A for effort.

Finally, she just stopped and stood still, her wet hair clinging to her face, her makeup running down her cheeks, her clothes drenched. I thought she had given up, but actually, she was now looking at Dad the same way he had been looking at her a moment earlier.

“Oh, my…” she said.

I looked at Dad and groaned. Thumbs were sprouting out of him like weeds. He had five thumbs growing out of the side of his neck, three out of his forehead, two more out of each of his thumbs, and many, many more continued to grow out of him as each second passed.

“What is it?” he asked. He looked above his head, probably expecting another weather cloud. But when a thumb grew out of the tip of his nose, he went cross-eyed trying to see it.

Mom feinted, and Dad just said, “Um, Son. I think you should go get help…”


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